This week at the prison was a very different experience for me. As I have said in my past postings the prisoners tend to challenge me because they know that I am interested in a career in the legal field; a judge. Through all of their challenges I have grown to respect them and them me. This week I was yet again challenged by the prisoners… but it was a very different challenge. This week the challenge was not inferred but the challenge directed my heart.
This week’s discussion was very compelling, through provoking and emotional. This week I brought in 3 poems about children soldiers; two poems were written by a person writing about children soldiers, and the third was written by a child solider from the perspective of a child soldier. Each of the poems was very compelling and emotional for me and the prisoners. As we read through the poems the room became tense, and silent. I began to feel the positions murmurs and groans after each compelling line. The immensity of these poems was overwhelming. Then the discussion began- the general coconscious was that this is wrong; forcing children to kill, and murder is wrong. As the discussion continued in the fashion, I wanted to dip deeper- I wanted the prisoners to dig deeper. Does it make a difference that two of the poems were not written by child soldiers? Does it make the poem written by the child soldier stronger? Yes they all replied. “You have to be able to experience things to truly understand them. All of us are here because we made a mistake in one way or another, whether guilty or innocent we in some way are responsible for being here. And only someone who is in a prison could understand what a prisoner goes through.” Wow. Everyone seemed to agree.
Ownership is a hard thing to handle. There have been many references to the unjust practices of the United States criminal justice system that has placed prisoners in the desks before me, but either way they take ownership of it. The discussion continued – “That may be true… but we still could never understand what these children go through. They have no choice, people come and take them away from their homes and families, and they are forced to fight” (with the three poems I also provided pictures of children soldiers from around the world and a map with all of the countries with children “actively” fighting in wars). “Choice!” a prisoner fired back, “ We have no choice here… when people force children 8 and 9 years old to go into people’s houses and kill their families because they have a beef with them… these children have no father no family – that’s not choice!” – “I had another friend who was shot by a 9 year old kid and killed, because he wouldn’t expect a kid to shoot him.” – “Why are there not dots over the US? We have children soldiers… children with no choice…” I was astonished! I must admit that I wanted to introduce children of “gangs” as child soldiers as well, but gangs in a prison is a touchy subject. I decided not to, but I was impressed that the discussion led us to that point anyway…
The next part of discussion is what challenged me the most. The most interesting thing is that I already knew these facts it was almost common knowledge but hearing it from the prisoners themselves changed my opinion entirely. “It doesn’t matter where in the world you are… what these poems are showing you is the hurt that comes with killing. It doesn’t matter what age you are when u cross that line and decide to take a life, and watch death happen – it changes your. You will never be the same again, it happens here, and it happens across the world.” –“And we have all lost family and friends (another prisoner chimes in) the hardest part about living with your decision is the consequences. Some of us have been in here for a long time, and we have lost mothers, sisters, brothers, our women… and were still here, and their living – that’s hard.”As I stopped to really think about what they were saying I began to understand. Life can be a lonely place, but prison can be a lonelier one…. It made me think about my own life and decisions and how my decisions led me to be the person that I am… am I ok with that person? What can I do to make a change; to do more and help…? I myself have family members in prison… family members that have also been forgotten about, family members whose name no one will dare say at family gatherings. The pain is too much to bear…. But what pain do they bear locked behind bars with no family or friends?
I left the prison that day with a lonely mind and a heavy heart….
Child Soldier Poems:
A Child Soldier Diary
By: Koko Latt (Mike)
http://burmadigest.wordpress.com/2007/07/06/poem-a-child-soldier-diary/
UntitledBy: Courtney C.
http://www.teenink.com/poetry/all/article/37821/Child-Soldiers/
CHILDREN AT WAR
By: Dr. Carole R. Fontaine
http://www.wunrn.com/news/2007/02_07/02_19_07/022607_poem.htm
Child Soldier Map
http://www.un.org/works/goingon/soldiers/csmap.gif
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This is really a soul-searching, thoughtful entry, and I'm glad you wrote it. The discussion you were part of and that you led was profound-- about child soldiers, about taking a life, about the weight one bears after doing so. The question of "choice" was really intriguing to me. What choices do we have? What conditions make "choice" non-existent. We know that militias grab and shape children into solider. We know that gangs can do the same in their own fashion. Like you said, hearing this from the men at the prison was profound.
ReplyDeleteI also see that this discussion caused you to reflect on your own family and incarcerated members. What seems important is the idea of breaking silence about that and claiming those family members. You started this entry with a discussion of ownership--how the men are owning their lives and imprisonment. And I see you are owning the imprisoned family members who are part of your life.